It’s a hard knocked up life for us

“Thank god I didn’t procreate with him” is a phrase we hear a lot. If you’ve seen the film Knocked Up, you’ve seen Katherine Heigel’s character grappling with the remorse of carrying Seth Rogen’s baby.

So the big lesson here is: Let ‘present’ you protect future you.

The guy who’s right for you now mightn’t be right for you later and unfortunately you don’t discover this until later, or worse, when it’s too late. I’ve seen so many women besotted by guitars and poetry then a not long after find themselves on ACA chasing down their poet for $21 a month in child support. I know these women. They’re not the tramp stamped, durry smoking bogans you’d chuckle at while watching Struggle street, they’re intelligent, attractive, educated women.

Women who assumed their honey tongued Romeo could never leave them high and dry at the Coles check out with a trolley full of formula and a screaming child. If only they’d taken a moment, in the moment to use a moment!! But no. Why? Because he said that he’s proficient at withdrawal!!!! 🤦‍♀️ 

And now it would seem he can’t even withdraw $30 to buy his kid a school hat! Oh but he’ll buy him some robucks on Roblox though and act like a fucking hero. Then post it on Instagram. Ugh!

Don’t let a moment of passion turn into a lifetime of “I love my kid but I wish it wasn’t his”.

But it’s not just about avoiding having a kid with a face that every day reminds you of the man of your never ending nightmare, it’s also about those little invisible bastards. STDs.

I met a woman once who in a moment of weakness, allowed her cheating ex husband blag his way back into her life. I can’t blame her. They have two kids together and he made a very impassioned speech. Unfortunately, the very next day, he decided, nope, I’m going back to the other woman. Not long after, not only was she dealing with the biggest emotional hangover of her life, she’d also discovered he’d given her a parting gift that would last a lifetime. HPV.

While you can’t protect your heart, you can protect your health.

Take control. Know your worth. Wear a dinger.

Comedian. Actor. Jungle Evictee.
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