These 8 first date warning signs will tell you whether it’s worth taking things further.
At Moments Condoms, we believe in you and your worth. We believe your time and energy is valuable. We want to see you spend it with people who are good for you.
So, we’re sharing 8 first date red flags that will help you decide whether it’s worth taking things further, according to Relationship Expert and Sexologist, Isiah McKimmie.
1. He’s hard to pin down
If, even before you get to the date, the guy is hard to pin down, it’s a sign of what’s to come. You deserve someone who’s looking forward to seeing you and is willing to make an effort to make it happen.
2. He’s distracted during your date, or checks his phone a lot
Sure, checking his phone could be a sign of nerves or maybe he’s got something going on at work, but you deserve to be with someone who pays attention to you and is interested in YOU.
3. He doesn’t ask about you
Ditto. If he’s only interested in talking about himself, that says a lot about what a relationship with him would be like long-term. Healthy relationships have balance and you deserve to be with someone excited by you.
4. He’s rude to the wait staff
This is a huge warning sign about his temper and how he treats people when he’s upset. Being rude to waitstaff, or any other staff for that matter, shows his potential to be rude to you and people you care about too. It’s not worth being in a relationship where you’re always treading on eggshells.
5. He wants to move faster than you or pressures you for sex without a condom
Unprotected sex carries a higher risk for females than men (in heterosexual sex) – so it might be more ‘comfortable’ or convenient for him to ditch the protection, but he’s asking you to take a higher risk.
If someone doesn’t respect your body and your safety – that’s a big red flag.
Your emotional wellbeing is also important, so if he’s pressuring you for anything you don’t really want – or don’t want yet – that’s a ‘thanks, but no thanks’.
6. He’s talks badly about his exes
If he’s talking badly about one of his past girlfriends, it’s a sign you could be next. Remember you’re only getting one side of the story from him. It’s disrespectful, shows his wounds and is a potential sign that he’s not really over her.
7. He says things like ‘I’m not looking for drama’ or ‘I don’t do drama’.
This is code for ‘I’m not willing to talk about difficult topics or hear your emotions’. What he’s really telling you is that when things get difficult or when you’re upset because of something he’s done, further implying that he’s going to have a really hard time listening to you and being supportive.
8. He says ‘I’m not looking for anything serious’
This is actually totally okay if you’re genuinely not looking for anything serious either. After all, we’re entitled to our own fun! But if you’re secretly hoping for something more with this guy, or know that you’d prefer something more serious, don’t hang around hoping this guy changes his mind. There are plenty of great guys out there looking for the same thing as you.
Finally, don’t forget to look for the GREEN flags too.
Nice guys are still out there. Sometimes they’re not as outgoing as the people that catch our attention right away. Don’t forget to look for these green flags too, the positive qualities that tell you there’s a lot of potential there.
Here’s what to look for in a great date:
– You’ve been talking for hours and you don’t even realise
– He listens to you and shares openly and vulnerably about himself
– You feel like you can be yourself, but still have butterflies
– He’s considerate and pays attention to you
– He knows what consent is and practices it
Isiah McKimmie is a couples therapist, sex therapist and sexologist. For more expert advice follow her on Instagram.
If you have a question for Isiah, email us at info@momentscondoms.com.au
