How to flirt via text message - with 27 examples approved by our Sexologist Isiah McKimmie

Relationships are made (and lost) in small moments and actions. Small things make a big difference - especially when it comes to intimacy.

Flirting is critical in a healthy relationship and a vital way to keep the spark and the romance alive, no matter what stage your relationship might be at.

Exchanging flirty texts with your partner can really set the mood for a great night and encourage those feelings of want and desire. It can also help you build a relationship and increase lust for one another.

Our brain is our most powerful sexual organ. To get aroused in the body, it starts with the mind.

When you receive a naughty text, the brain stimulates the various neurochemicals and hormones of pleasure, such as dopamine. For women, the hormone oxytocin is also stimulated - which intensifies feelings associated with joy and happiness of closeness.

It’s for this reason that women who exchange sexy messages with a partner during the day have a greater chance of reaching orgasm in the evening.

But where do you start?

We checked in with our resident Sexologist and Relationship Counsellor, Isiah McKimmie for some advice.

Rules for flirty texting

Test the waters first

It’s important to get the timing right when you’re sending flirty messages.

“Be careful not to go too far, too soon” warns McKimmie. “You want to send a message and notice how they respond before taking things further. By going in too hard and fast, you run the risk of making someone feel uncomfortable or being left hanging.”

Start small and pay attention to how they respond. Increase the heat from there.

Keep it positive

Negging is not a turn-on.

There’s a fine line between teasing and negging, but honestly, our advice is to keep it positive.

McKimmie agrees, “You’re much more likely to build a strong relationship with someone if you engage in positive interactions.”

Get your balance right

A flirty conversation needs to go both ways. Aim for a balance of who is messaging who.

“A good tip to keep the conversation going and make sure it’s balanced is to include a mix of asking questions of the other person and making statements.” McKimmie suggests.

Make use of Emojis

Fun emoji texts can also be a great way to spice things up. In fact, a recent study showed that adding emojis to communications allowed people to reach a deeper level of intimacy with one another.

A picture says a thousand words right? 😉🍆🍑👿

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Flirty Text Ideas approved by our Sexologist

  1. I can’t wait to see you tonight.
  2. Noticed myself smiling thinking about you…
  3. Trying to concentrate on work here. Can you please stop making me smile?
  4. So do you miss me yet?
  5. I’m not very good at playing it cool… I really like you and I can’t wait to see you again.
  6. I have to admit… I did not want our date to end last night.
  7. The thing that I really admire about you is… (fill in the blank with something you love about them)
  8. I was just thinking about what we’d be doing if you were here rn 👿
  9. So where are you taking me on our next date?
  10. When do I get to see you again?
  11. Can you stop being so lovely? You’re driving me crazy already.
  12. I could really do with a drink/pizza tonight… It would be even better if you were there.
  13. You’ll never guess what I’m thinking about…
  14. So I had a dream about you last night…
  15. What emoji reminds you of me?
  16. Did you know you have really cute dimples when you smile?
  17. I can’t stop thinking about last night… 😉 (if you spent it with them obviously)
  18. I’ve been having some particularly naughty thoughts today. And they all seem to involve you.
  19. Noticed myself smiling thinking about what I’m going to do to you when we catch up again.
  20. That shirt would look great on my bedroom floor.
  21. Just about to go to sleep thinking about you.
  22. I have a feeling you’re going to get me in so much trouble…
  23. Wanna come over and keep me up late tonight?
  24. My imagination has been running wild today thinking about what I’d like to do to you tonight.
  25. When I see you next, there’s something I’d like you to do to me. It involves us both being naked… do you want to hear more?
  26. If we were home alone right now, what would you most like to do with me?
  27. It’s a shame you’re not here right now, I’ve been thinking about what I’d love to do to you.

Isiah McKimmie is a couples therapist, sex therapist and sexologist. For more expert advice follow her on Instagram.
If you have a question for Isiah, email us at